Ive had my fair share of selfish people in my life, they arent truly apart of it to be honest, there is a distance there even if they dont own why its there in the first place. Ive grown to be attuned to “all about myself” types, my nature is to give not to just take and be open towards others try see actions or emotions from a grounded prospective, show loyalty and trust and a safe place rested space with me.
Selfish people dont seem to appeal to me at all.
I’ve witnessed it with different types of people, and the first thing I have to say about this is that it’s a train traveling full-speed with no signs of ever slowing down.
In fact this kind of behaviour is on my radar as an alert.. A reminder to always set healthy boundary’s and how to always take what ever they do or say with a grain of salt accepting that it would not be how most would go about things and just to digest negative exchanges as quickly as they come, and to never take it personally.
The goal for a healthy individual is to try to strive for happiness and meet likeminded people who will help us move ahead (because who we surround ourselves with makes all the difference)
Avoid the outwardly/blatant selfish type if you can, limit interactions if they effect you.. remembering its not you its them and we have a choice always to who we give our time to regardless of who they are.
Selfish people are lonely or lacking something in their lives which drives that tendency to be “all about themselves” it stands out clearly how this would make someone blind to their own behaviour or lack of acknowledgement of their behaviour.
A selfish person will hurt you and not think twice to protect their own best interests. If you have a relationship with a selfish person, practicing healthy communication and setting boundaries can help you protect your own well-being.
Selfish people tend to create more toxicity in even seemingly normal conversations than people realize sometimes.
Ive had this experience before just happily engaging in conversation unaware that my somewhat easy going approach/disposition in a subject could get twisted into something negative.
That’s where boundaries are granted warranted actually.. no-one has the right to inflict negative opinions on you for no justifiable reason. Selfish people tend to do that bear in mind they involved themselves regardless of whether it was about them or not they put themselves first so think highly of themselves enough to rain on someone else’s parade it truly is manipulation at its finest.
They make you feel selfish they are very good at diverting that onto someone else all the while making it seem like they are not! (Sneaky) and its very much like covert narcissism. Its hard to navigate but when you see the light its hard not to continue to see this noticeable and consistent selfish behaviour. But it may come as a relief to notably understand this trait has absolutely nothing to do with yourself only you can control your reaction.
Do you have a selfish person in your life?
People who exhibit selfishness tend to have a pattern of acting in their own self-interest. It can be exhausting and painful to have a relationship with a selfish person who doesn’t seem to care about you or your needs so protecting your self with clear boundaries is so important.
Many different factors may lead people to behave in selfish ways. If you’re impacted by someone’s selfish behavior, there are certain ways you can approach the relationship to protect yourself.
What is a selfish person?
Selfishness can be defined as the trait that leads people to frequently act in their own interests without any regard for how their actions could impact others.
the definition of “selfishness” states
“the tendency to act excessively or solely in a manner that benefits oneself, even if others are disadvantaged”
Some signs of a selfish person include:
Having no regard for how their behavior impacts others
Consistently acting in their own self-interests instead of meeting the needs of others.
Having no empathy for the suffering of other people.
Showing no remorse when they’ve hurt other people and drag others into the web of drama.
Using manipulation tactics to get what they want.
Always asking for favors but never repaying them.
Being unkind, or their kindness comes with a price.
Using others to get what they want
not giving back to others.
Feeling entitled to always getting what they want, even if it means that others will be pushed down
How to deal with selfish people
If you have a selfish person in your life, it’s likely that they’ve hurt you at some point — whether they realize it or not.
Here are some tips you can use to deal with the selfish people you have in your life.
Don’t take it personally
Understand that selfish people behave in their own self-interest, regardless of how you behave. Their selfishness isn’t your fault. Try not to take their behavior personally or blame yourself.
Set clear boundaries
Setting, and sticking to, personal boundary’s may help you be less affected by the selfish person’s behavior. setting boundary’s can sometimes be more drastic like leaving the friendship/relationship. Only you know what’s right for your life. But many people find that they need to make the difficult decision to cut selfish people out of their lives for the sake of their own well-being.
Practice acceptance
Understand that, especially if they live with a mental health conditions there may not be anything you can do to change this person’s behavior.
The only person whose behavior you can control is yourself. It’s up to you to decide whether or not you want to confront the person about their selfish behavior.
But you might find that a confrontation doesn’t change the person’s behavior as you’d hoped. It’s difficult to practice patients in situations like this, but it may be necessary
Get educated
Especially if the person behaves selfishly because of a mental health condition, it may be helpful to learn more about their condition.
Being educated on the root causes behind selfish behavior can help you to have empathy for the person as well as a deeper understanding that their behavior is not your fault.
Assertive communication is a skill that may take time to develop. Practicing assertive communication allows you to set clear boundaries and state how you feel to an individual.
When you’re able to communicate in a way that allows you to advocate for yourself this may help effectively communicate with a selfish person.
What causes selfishness?
All of us behave in selfish or self-centered ways sometimes. And behaving in “selfish” ways could even be a form of self-care, as long as it doesn’t become a tendency to continuously act in these ways.
For example, you might decide not to go to a friend’s birthday party because you’re feeling sick. In this instance, you’re putting your own health needs first, even though it could hurt your friend.
But most people wouldn’t call you a generally selfish person for doing so.
Experts say that most humans fall somewhere on a spectrum between pathological selfishness and extreme altruism. You could act in your own interests sometimes, but also show pro-social or altruistic behaviours at other times.
But some people are on the more extreme end of this spectrum. Research shows that people could end up on the selfish end of the spectrum due to a few different factors.
There’s an art to making everything about you, but it doesn’t paint a pretty picture. Those who master it will never cease to amaze you with their skill, and they might still surprise you, even if you thought you’d seen it all.
The worst part about people who make everything about themselves is that they don’t always realize that’s what they’re doing. It took me a good amount of work and self-awareness to realize I had a tendency to make everything about myself, and it still takes me a lot of work every day to contain the worst aspects of that impulse. Thankfully, I don’t think I ever fully mastered the art, otherwise I might have gone in too deep, past the point of no return. I still slip sometimes — bad habits die hard — but I’ve become much better at avoiding it.
I’m an expert on “I make everything about me” behavior because I’ve witnessed it on someone very close to me for decades at this point, and the first thing I have to say about this particular case is that it’s a train traveling full-speed with no signs of ever slowing down.
That, however, doesn’t have to be you. If you think you might have a tendency to make everything about you and are afraid this bad habit is pushing people away, then you’re off to a good start by acknowledging the problem.
If you’re close with someone who tends to behave this way, and you wish they’d stop, things might be a little more complicated, especially since they probably have no idea of how toxic their worldview is, but don’t give up, there’s always hope.
One might think that the explanation for this behavior is narcissism, pure and simple, and that’s probably an accurate assessment. However, I hesitate to broadly classify anyone who engages in this behavior as a narcissist because a) narcissism exists in a spectrum — we’re all narcissist to a smaller or larger degree; and b) this isn’t a story about narcissism, but about a specific behavior and how to understand it better, even though it can be an aspect of a larger issue.
The behavior
When someone makes everything about themselves, they express a twisted interpretation of reality in which everything either happens to them or because of them, even if the role they play in the situation is secondary at best. If everyone is concerned about something that has absolutely nothing to do with them, they find a way to insert themselves, twisting and turning a situation to make it look like it directly affects them.
Remember its not selfish to put yourself first when treated badly by someone selfish in your life, sharpen your boundary’s, state clearly how you feel and dint forget to be unapologetically yourself always.
Have a wonderful day lovely
Cassie – GypsyJoiCreationsCreates x
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